Recently, I have been thinking, that I am, after all, just an idiot.
Two things have been bothering me: one, I think I have a light version of autism. Two, I am, in most cases, an idiot.
Psychologically, there is a term for my condition: neurosis, which is assuming too much of one’s own responsibility. If something isn’t right, it’s my problem, not the world’s problem, not God’s problem. Indeed it is better than the opposite but only to a degree.
You see, people seem to me are, well, people. Instead of regarding me as people and everyone else not, I am “smart enough” to understand everyone else is normal, functioning people while I am the one with certain dysfunctions, or abnormality. Yes there are things I am very good at while most not, however, this further indicates there are even more things most people are good at while I am not. Even for the things I am good at there are more than a bunch of normal people who are much better than me. For the things I am not good at, I am truly, an idiot, zero intelligence.
So what am I trying to say? Ha, I am an idiot after all. Haha, hahaha.
Yes that’s what I am trying to say.
By accepting that I am in fact nothing, it is a big relief.
By saying that I accept my idiocy, it is an abuse of my intelligence, an insult to everyone who read this, and my dirty trick to make myself feel better.
Why so serious? – Joker (The Dark Knight)