I forgot that there were lots of reading homework from every class… In US they don’t teach you; you read it yourself, then they mentioned it once or twice in class or have some quizzes so that they know you have read it and understood everything.
I have a chance to sign up an international friendship program, which is being often invited to an native American family for dinner, cultural event, holiday, etc. and develop a friendship with that family so that they always invite you. I know this is a great opportunity but I AM TOO INTIMIDATED TO SIGN UP AND THE DEADLINE IS TOMORROW 8:00 AM. I have a feeling that if I don’t even have the courage to sign this up I am not going to accomplish anything in my life, because I am always too shy and too intimidated to do anything without me first knowing how to do it. It even gets to the point that I’d rather be anyone than me and living my life is just too damn difficult… BOLDNESS IS WHAT DISTINGUISHES SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE FROM LOSERS.
My inner conflicts: "Come on, have balls, sign this thing up." "Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you are gonna get, so sign this fucking this up, what’s gonna happen?" "You’ve been here, what else can’t you do?" "You are alone, you need this" "But it’s American family, they have rules, they have rules listed on a brochure for 5 pages…" "This is getting to know a family not one person, what if they don’t like me, will they never invite me again?" "I don’t even know my culture much, what can I tell them?" "They need you to dress formal clothes for formal situations, but am I gonna buy a suite of formal clothing?" "I just arrived in here, and then meet American families and have dinner or go out with them? This is too stressful."
Question: will I sign this up by tomorrow?
God damn it, why do I have to make this choice? Why do I have to regret either way? Why do I even attend this meeting to get this information???