无尽的空虚,微妙的曙光

 
Long time no blog, 我已在漫长的等待中丧失了spirit。
前日ACT的29分对我而言是一针有力的强心剂。由于未完成试卷和一些尚无头绪的原因,我对自己的academic ability的自信已经逝去过半。然而fate似乎对我有所钟情,2道题猜测的数学居然给了个35 out of 36,而在平时练习中最高也不过是33而且还自认为做得很好,这的确令人摸不着头脑。难道我平时就如此缺乏血糖以致于考试吃了点chocolate就hyper-performance了?Seems so.
 
但反过来想,对于无尽的需求,即便有了这act又怎么样?一切就容易了么?我不想赘述还会多难。
 
有时候很多问题像江河一样汇总为一个问题的海洋:人活着,到底是为了点什么?
 
Happiness? Truth? Success? Money? Success and Money? Respect? Family get-together? Love with everything? Be a great man and let yourself be remembered for a million years? Or everything mentioned above? They are at least what I can think of.
 
或者说,我们总是每天总是被很多小事折腾得天翻地覆,一个目标接着一个目标,学了这个再学那个,可能却忘了活着是干什么的。也许,只有在人临终之时,才能真正体会到生命的意义:像看电影一样,线性地从第一人称视角感受从出生到发展到消亡的过程。这是我现在能给自己的最好答案。
 
或许,一天中的几个幽默、没事读读新闻、家人在一起吃饭就已经是很大的乐趣了。再多的追求只是complicating matters。
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